


In the Still of the Night

by shyfoxes



Series: And Family Means... [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bonding, Crying, Developing Friendships, F/M, Found Family, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugging, Implied Relationships, Mentions of the other paladins - Freeform, Restlessness, hand holding, late night bonding, mentions of Keith's father, understanding each other, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 00:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12876498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyfoxes/pseuds/shyfoxes
Summary: Keith is no stranger to restlessness. When Allura becomes restless, he figures that maybe its a feeling better shared.





	In the Still of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> this was actually originally a vent fic and still kind of is.

 

Keith was no stranger to restlessness.

He had never been too good at sitting still. In classes, if he wasn't engaged, then he couldn’t say he had cared much. Likewise, if he had cared too much, it had always become too all consuming for Keith. It possessed his mind, and he had always had trouble rerouting onto other things.

Keith was never one to do anything half-assed.

There was always a sense that he had to do be doing something, had to keep moving. There was more to see, to experience. Waiting meant he wasn’t doing.

As a child, he had always been a night owl, and so had his father. There were times he could remember waking up in the middle of the early hours, the sun still too far behind to rise. Keith would peel back his covers, feet touching the creaky wooden floorboards, and creeping out into the house. The house was mostly dark, only partially illuminated in places by moonlight through the windows. Back then, he and his father had had a habit of picking up stray dogs. Keith could remember having upwards of seven mutts at some point. He couldn’t remember what happened to them even now.

A few of the mutts  would raise their heads from where they were laid out around the small house. A few noses twitched, but they otherwise settled back down and slept. The only one missing from among the pack, as usual, was Ace. Keith would always expect her to be cradled up on his father’s lap as she tended to be.

His father, for all intents and purposes, never actually slept in his room much. Rather, he stayed the majority of his time either on their small living room couch, or out on the front veranda staring up at the sky. If Keith recalled hard enough, after a while, his father had practically made a home on that front veranda. Even the couch had forgotten the shape of his father’s form.

Keith would gently open the door, standing out in the night air in his sleep clothes, barefoot. There, he would see his father, head tilted back and watching the stars like he was expecting something. Always expecting something. Ace would lift her head from where she had it on his thigh before she settled back down again. Then Keith would walk towards them, climb up on the bench, and fit himself against his father’s side.

His father’s hands had been big, calloused on the palms and the pads of his fingers. Sometimes they seemed permanently stained with oil.When Keith’s father pet his curls, he could remember it engulfing his small head almost like a hat. He ruffled his hair, long even then. His father would draw him close where he would lay on his father’s other thigh, mirroring Ace.

Sleep didn’t come easy even then. Sometimes Keith would stare out into the darkness, listening to the distance sounds of cars on the highway. Other times he would look up at the stars, wondering what his father was looking for. His father never said. Keith never questioned.

Now, though, Keith felt that he had some inkling of what his father had been looking up for.

Regardless, Keith felt a certain comfort in the stars. From where he had laid, listening to Ace’s soft snores, and feeling his father’s rough but gentle hands stroking his hair, he could appreciate how silent they had seemed. Silent and calm, even if knowledge told him he was looking at explosive remains, brightness made beautiful in an expanding trail. He could dot maps and secret notes in each twinkle. A couple times his father had played along, pointed at a grouping of stars and whispered that a secret was buried at the heart.

It had been those thoughts that had kept him warm when he’d had to go it alone not too long after. He could look up and remember them when it felt like he was stranded in a desert. Until he had exiled himself to a desert on his own.

So, yeah, Keith was used to restlessness.

He wasn’t the only one on the ship that was restless, that he knew. It seemed to hit the other paladins in waves. Keith had stopped being surprised when he bucked up on the other paladins, fidgety and on the move in the dead of the night cycle.

The most usual suspect, much to Keith’s quiet distress, was Shiro. He’d gotten better lately. But Keith had suspected that whatever “sleepy time concoction” Coran was supposedly giving to Shiro to help him fall asleep faster, was in fact just a lot of nunville with the awful taste well masked -- most likely by Hunk. Keith sometimes feared the type of power Coran and Hunk teaming up could yield.

Tonight, though, Keith was surprised to see Allura.

He had been making rounds on the ship, listening to its now familiar creaking as he wandered aimlessly. It was easy enough to forget it was in fact a castle as much as a ship. They only ever used so many rooms between the seven of them.

His feet had taken him to the bridge, wondering if for once, since Lance and Hunk were actually asleep, he could take advantage of the star map for himself. Instead of an empty room, with only the hum of the auto navigation system, Keith found Allura.

Keith stopped at the doorway, watching the way she seemed so barely put together. A few months ago, Keith would have just assumed she was capitalizing on some alone time. Even with so few of them on the ship, they always seemed to make enough noise and mess to fill an entire barracks. Now, though, he could see the way her body language screamed distress.

As the team grew closer, a lot of subtle things began to become clearer to Keith. Shiro had stated that it was what usually happened when you lived around someone for so long. Back at the Garrison, Shiro had learned to tell when Matt was secretly eating his snack stash by the way he chewed his nails.

Where Keith had thought Allura standoffish, mostly due to her status of princess and leader, he had learned that it was in fact her way of compartmentalizing. If she could distance herself from the hurt, then she could function. It wasn’t that much different than Shiro. Keep busy, focus, and push the thoughts away. It worked most of the time.

Under the light of the star map and bundled up in her sleeping dress, she looked the complete opposite of her usual image.

Allura looked vulnerable and small. She was curled into herself, hugging her knees as she flitted through star systems. She settled long on one star system. It was barren save for something Keith couldn't make out. She took too deep a breath. It seemed to rattle down her throat, interrupted midway.

They hadn’t spent much time together outside of conversations on the bridge or during missions, and occasionally at dinner. Keith wasn’t sure if she would much appreciate him coming up to her in this moment of weakness. The more he lingered -- caught between leaving her be, and comforting her to the best of his ability -- the harder the decision became. Usually he trusted his gut in these situations, but for once, it had no impulsive move for him.

The princess had a certain pride to her. Keith could relate.

Closing his eyes, Keith let his body move.

“G….Good evening, Princess,” Keith greeted quietly.

Allura’s head snapped up, hair fanning over her shoulder as she looked up at him. Even in the low lighting, Keith could see the way her eyes were glazed and shiny. A clear look of grief was settled along her features, unguarded by walls. She was moments from crying. Keith saw the way she sucked in her lips, searching for her voice.

“Good e-evening,” Allura started. Her voice wobbled. She cleared her throat, “...Keith. What brings you here?”

She unfolded herself, though her posture still seemed defensive. The walls were rising up again over her face, slower though, and jagged. She was trying to separate Princess from Allura.

Keith hesitated a step forward. She didn’t shrink away immediately, so Keith entered the room. He made sure to stay close to the doors. He was cautious though. He wasn’t going to force himself into her space if she was not comfortable enough to share her feelings so suddenly.

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured I would do some walking,” Keith said simply. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking at her from the corner of his eye. “Is it the same for you?”

Allura looked down. Her fingers tangled into the fabric of her robes, a nervous habit. Quietly she spoke.

“I also find myself unable to sleep. So I, uhm…”

Rarely was Allura unable to speak. Keith waited, letting her gather her words.

“I decided that I could possibly find peace of mind here,” Allura finished.

“Is it helping?” Keith prompted.

After a few ticks, Allura shook her head. She sat up straight, legs curled around her under the long hem of her dress. She settled her hands into her lap, inspecting her palms silently.

“I have not been able to, unfortunately,” Allura admitted.

“Can I sit with you? We could be restless together,” Keith asked after a little while.

Allura looked up at him, eyes widening a fraction before schooling her expression again. She nodded, turning away as Keith walked in and settled a little ways away from her on the ground.  She drew her legs tighter around her, the tips of her toes peeking out from her dress. Keith sat with his legs bent, and let his arms hang off of his knees.

A silence settled over them. It felt strained and awkward, at least from Keith’s end. At the corner of his eye he could see Allura drawing a piece of her hair into her hands, idly stroking it. Her fingers looped around the strands, tugging a little, before smoothing it out to start again.

He wondered if this was another habit. Allura was actually rather chatty when given the chance. He'd once seen her and Hunk rattling off about he didn't know what - mechanics if he caught the words right. It was probably disconcerting to be stuck in a silence like this. Keith didn't know what to say.

“Uhm. Do you...Do you ever dream of home?” Allura started, voice so soft Keith had to strain to hear it.

Keith joined his hands and looked at his palms.

“Sometimes,” He said.

“Do you ever miss it?” Allura continued.

Keith bowed his head.

“Not always. I never had a permanent home for too long. I miss Earth, but I don't think I have much of a home to return to,” Keith told her. “Are you missing Altea?”

“I'm not sure I understand,” Allura replied.

“I grew up with my dad. But we didn't always stay together. sometimes I was actually out of the country. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, but eventually they got too old and he had to take me back,” Keith explained. “We lived together a couple years - then he never came back.”

“I can relate in ways to that,” Allura mumbled. She tugged at her strands again. “I don't have much of a home either. Or a father.”

“Kind of makes you feel all alone, huh,” Keith mumbled.

Allura tugged at her hair again, a little harsher than before. Keith winced. Allura nodded, raising her hand to flit through the star systems with the map. Keith looked up, saw what looked like a crumpled ball of earth, floating lifeless in space. No other planets were in the solar system. It had been the system he had walked in on her looking at.

“Even when I know it isn't there, sometimes I still find myself going back to it, hoping that Altea will be whole again and waiting for me,” Allura whispered. She sniffled, swallowing her sob to bury her face into her forearms. “But it never is.”

Allura’s shoulders shook, wracking her body as another sob worked its way out. She bit into her lip, only barely able to keep the sound from leaving, and curled tighter into herself. Tears dotted the hemming of her dress, soaking the baby blue fabric darker. Keith froze, stomach twisting but unable to answer her.

“I just want to see my father again,”She cried. “I don't know what I'm doing. I'm _scared_.”

Tentatively, Keith reached out, touching her hand with the tips of his fingers. Allura hiccuped, raising her head to look up at him. She looked from where they were joined to him and back again.

Hunk and Lance had often held hands, Keith had noticed. It was a little gesture they often shared between each other. Once, he had asked what it had been about. Lance had replied that both he and Hunk were physically affectionate people. They had grown up together, and had always held hands when they were little. Hunk had mad anxiety. Holding his hand had often times just been a way to help calm him down. Eventually it had simply just morphed into a gesture of comfort for the two of them. If one of them was feeling some way, the automatic response was to hold the other’s hand.

Keith had been really blown away after that. He’d loved little gestures himself, not that he tended to tell anyone. It grounded him, made him feel warm for that brief moment. He wondered if maybe it could work for Allura, too.

“It’s okay,” Keith murmured. It wasn’t the best thing to say, but he kept repeating it, softer each time. “It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re all scared, too. It’s okay.”

Keith hadn’t thought before he was acting. He wasn’t the best at these things -- his people skills had always lacked. Sometimes his earnestness was taken the wrong way.

He hoped even a fraction of it was obvious when he grabbed Allura’s hand. Gently, Keith slid his hand over hers, fingers curling against her palm. He squeezed her hand, brows furrowed as a fresh batch of tears worked their way down her cheeks again. Allura wiped at her face. Allura sniffled, squeezing his hand back as she wiped her face.

Her face was wet, splotched with tears and nose naught, and hair stuck to cheeks and forehead. Her eyes were red-rimmed, lashes clumped together. Hastily, she wiped at her face with a long sleeve. It didn't make it much better.

“Sorry,” She softly said. “I didn’t mean to -- I’m sorry.”

Keith shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I get it. I miss my dad a lot, too. I wish I could see my dad again tons of times. Don’t feel ashamed.”

Allura slowly uncurled herself. Their hands lay on the ground between them, still joined.

A better, more comforting silence settled over them this time. Every few ticks, Allura’s fingers curled against his, grounded by the gesture.

Keith reached up with his free hand and swiped his hand through the star map. A series of solar systems flitted by fast, before it slowed and then finally stopped on a system Keith didn’t know. He looked to Allura.

“My dad and I used to stargaze a lot. He got me this book once about Earth’s constellations. I think i memorized that whole book in a week,” Keith started. He ran a thumb over the back of Allura’s hand. She curled her fingers tighter around his.

“We had constellations back on Altea, too,” Allura replied. “Did yours have tales attached to them, too?”

Keith nodded. “They even had different ones depending on the culture. There’s this one my dad’s mom likes to tell about two lovers separated by the Milky Way.  My dad’s dad didn’t think that much on it. I think he said his father had told him some old tales but he ended up forgetting them as he got older.”

“That’s sad. I would hate to forget any of the stories. On Altea my father told me one tale I particularly liked. We have one about a King who traveled the galaxies in search of a worthy companion. He went to countless worlds, and found none. It wasn’t until he had gone back and wished to the heavens that they sent a star to meet him. I can’t fully remember how it goes, but the ending is sad. The star outlives the King,” Allura told him.

Keith hummed. “Dad and I mostly just made up our own things.”

Keith pointed to a cluster of stars. “Like there. My dad would point to any grouping of stars and go, ‘Those little guys are telling me that the luckiest number in the universe is 3. But you can’t tell anyone cuz its a secret’. Or something like, ‘You know what they’re telling me now, Akira? That you’re gonna make me the proudest guy ever. Your meant for great things, boy’,,” Keith recited. He grinned to himself. “He was cheesy.”

“Cheesy,” Allura repeated, quizzically. “Like that food your people eat...or as Pidge calls Lance?”

A laugh forced itself out of Keith, enough that he had to untangle their hands to wipe at his eye. He grinned, leaning his face into shoulder. He peeked at Allura.

“Definitely the second one. My dad looked scary to other people, but he was really a nice guy  deep down.”

“My father was much the same. I can remember how kind he was. He was always ready to jump into help someone even at the risk of himself. It often got him into trouble,” Allura said, giggling.

Keith smiled. It was nice to see a smile appear on her face, the lines of tension flooding away from her.

“I think our dads would have gotten along. My dad loved a good drink. He might have even _liked_ nunville. Gramps used to tell me how dad used to get himself into trouble, too,” Keith said.

“Oh? Then I suppose you and I would have been friends as children then,” Allura concluded.

“I woulda liked that. I was alone for the most of my childhood. We had a lot of dogs, though. Ace was my dad’s favorite. She wasn’t always the nicest, but if you could get her to like you, she was the sweetest thing.”

Allura laughed. “My godmother had a cat like that. Kova, I think he was called.”

Allura pointed to a cluster of stars. “These stars, I think they are telling me that you are a good friend, Keith. Even if you sometimes have trouble getting your feelings out.”

Keith snorted, batting at her hand playfully. He pointed out another cluster.

“This one is telling me that you are actually the one who broke Pidge’s thingy.”

Allura flushed, cheeks puffing out in annoyance. She knocked their shoulders together, before deciding better and shoving him over instead. She leaned against him to point at some other stars.

“This one says you are a brat,” Allura teased.

“Funny, they’re telling me the same thing about you,” Keith joked.

They looked at each other for a moment before dissolving into a fit of giggles, bent over and crashing shoulder to shoulder against each other. Allura buried her face against the side of his face, nose scrunching against his ear, tickling him. Keith flinched, knocking their heads. They pulled back and then fell into another round of laughter. Allura rested a hand to the back of his head, stroked his hair a moment, grinning.

“Thank you, Keith. This is the best I’ve felt in quite a while. I am humbled by your kindness,” Allura said.

“Oh, uh. Don’t worry about it. It’s what friends do. I’m glad I could help, even a little bit,” Keith bashfully replied. “Would you want to do this again? I don’t get to talk about my dad often.”

Allura smiled, dazzling in the low lighting. “Yes, I think I very much would. I only ever get to speak of him with Coran or in terms of Voltron. It would warm me to be able to share the other things, too.”

Keith cleared his throat. “I think this is the part where Hunk or Shiro would hug someone. You okay with that?”

Allura blinked, then drew him in for a tight hug. He winced when squeezed too tightly, both of them momentarily forgetting how strong she actually was. She squeaked an apology, before settling into his arms, face buried against the curve of his neck. Keith mirrored her, hands joined together at the small of her back as Allura rested her own against his shoulders.

They stayed like that a while, until the star map slowly blinked off.

**Author's Note:**

> Ace is named after Damian Wayne’s dog, Ace (whose forrmal name is actually Titus).


End file.
